I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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