office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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