I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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