i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
