I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just pee around me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
