There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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