Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to have your abortion
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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