who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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