Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
