cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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