can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize