I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
