Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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