saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
