we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
