i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
