you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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