yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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