well you can't waste a boner
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
