you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
