I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
