I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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