i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
