would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
