Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
