WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
