I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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