Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
