He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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