I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
