I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
