are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
