used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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