Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
