You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
