You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we're making bets on your personal life
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
