Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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