I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
