i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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