Having a random hookup so left but love u
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
