Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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