That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
