I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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