Cold hands, warm shart.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize