I wish I could teleport
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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