How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
