I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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