the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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