I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
