also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
