Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
