Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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