You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
