to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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