Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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