he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
