I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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