fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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