nut hugger
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
